Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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