Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
