I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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