I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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