Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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