u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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