I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
