this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
