we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
