Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
