i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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