I puked a lego.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
