just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
