It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize