At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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