Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
