Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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