Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
this just has baby written all over it
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
