I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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