I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
