WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
