She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
this hospital has no fireball
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
