Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize