found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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