Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
