I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
