I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
