First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
