try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
