Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize