yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
