party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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