Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
