the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
