But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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