the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
