i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
