He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
