Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
