too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
