i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
