Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
