so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
