pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
