If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
