Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize