I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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