I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
