I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
