Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
