oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
