when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
