Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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