help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Randomize
