Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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