Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
