Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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