youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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