A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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