absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
