i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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