Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I am naked and annoyed.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
