Screwed.edu
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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