Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
