used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize